Finding Balance
✨🍄🍫 Hiking Thoughts
About life, healing, and all the future retreat vibes…
I’ve been joking a lot recently about how my friends conned me into signing up to do a 17-mile trail race with them, but the truth is, my days spent hiking, running, and frolicking in the woods (sometimes microdosing) are bringing me home to myself. They’re giving me the strength to stay present in my own healing and soul work.
On an extra magical, rainy run through the redwoods (with those amazing, trail running friends), I found myself meditating on the idea of balance—how to find my flow in the tension between the intense physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and energetic cleansing practices I’m drawn to and my desire to fully enjoy life and all the best food, wine, and pleasures of being in this body while allowing myself to soften and be present with it all… that’s a lot to even read (and probably not a proper sentence), I know.
Then I found myself typing the subject line “Finding Balance” and thinking, that’s cliché as fuck, but whatever—I’m not here to reinvent the wheel, just to share my current spin on things.
Balance is something we’re always working toward in today’s world of excess—easy, addictive dopamine hits, constant opportunities for nervous system overstimulation, and at this point, I don’t even know what isn’t a carcinogen or endocrine disruptor anymore. On the flip side, we are being sold extreme wellness practices and cleanses, way too many podcasting biohackers are getting off on the sound of their own voice, and people are becoming so obsessed with “health” that they’re making themselves sick, scared to just go out and enjoy life, and eternally confused by the one million different diets and lifestyle practices being touted as the word of God.
And trust me, as someone who’s part woo-woo wellness freak, part hedonistic party girl, I’m here for a little bit of all of it. I know that while “finding balance” in our lifestyle—diet, exercise, work, play, screen time, substances, etc.—is not a new conversation, it’s an everyday practice (one we probably shouldn’t be too hard on ourselves about).
As I’ve gone deeper into my healing journey, this practice of balance has returned in a more subtle way. I’ve noticed myself (to no surprise) gravitating toward the extreme—purging, cleansing, break yourself fully open then figure out how to put the pieces back together practices. And with that comes the energy of needing to get things out—emotions, toxins, trauma, etc—to release and create change. I’ve experienced the power of many of these practices and absolutely believe they have a place in full-spectrum healing, but I think what a lot of us need more than an ayahuasca ceremony or a coffee enema is a hug.
One fundamental but often overlooked part of healing is being in spaces where we are held, nourished, and invited to fully embrace the joy and pleasure our lives and senses have to offer. Spaces that welcome your whole, unfiltered self—wild, weird, and beautifully authentic. Where curiosity and imperfection are met with acceptance, and nothing needs to be purged, fixed, or earned to be worthy of love. I want to create these spaces for you—to fully feel your freedom, bliss, and nourishment, where simply being is enough. Where you are wined and dined, sun-kissed, and celebrated. Where you can soften, relax, and fully receive all of life’s abundance (see notes on upcoming wellness & wine retreat that I’m still like oh my god, I can’t believe this is my real life, it’s actually happening and so soon… just so grateful).
The subtle work of balancing intensity and softness in my practices and relationship with myself is asking for a lot of awareness and presence, and it has shown me so much about my purpose and the spaces and experiences that I want to create. I’m learning firsthand that the deeper you’re willing to dig into your own healing—to sit with all of the parts of yourself and all of your stories, to look at them, and to love them—the greater your capacity to feel it all. And the more willing you are to feel it all (which can definitely include a lot of pain and discomfort), the more you can tap into that absolute, turned-on, full fuck yes to life energy (which is definitely worth it in my opinion).
As I am getting to know my own power, I’m also realizing I have the capacity to hold others in the depths of their healing—to walk with them through the darkest, scariest places and back again—because I’m doing it for myself. So I’m pretty sure I’ll be creating more offerings for the big medicine, the deep cleansing, the spaces where you can move through your pain, reclaim your power, and be held safely through it all. As Ram Dass said, “We’re all just walking each other home.” And being in a community that gives you strength to move through the hard parts, holds you in your healing, and also revels in the ecstasy of life (parties till sunrise) makes the walk home a hell of a lot brighter. So thank you for being a part of mine.
I know that as I continue showing up in my raw, unfiltered, sometimes graceful, sometimes unhinged nature, it invites you into a safe space to do the same. Or maybe it makes you uncomfortable—and I’m learning to be okay with that too, because stepping outside of our comfort zones, shedding perfectionism, and getting out of our own fucking way is part of the work.
So I invite you to walk with me through the darkness, dance in the light, and be together in full presence—embracing this full-spectrum human experience we’re all here to share.
Love Always,
LL
